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Nov 2018Words Fail Me – That’s Why I need You.
That challenging moment when a really necessary conversation sits with us and we can’t think of the ‘right words’ to say. So we leave it. We may well then be left with two deteriorating scenarios. We are giving ourselves a hard time for bottling it, dropping the ball, squandering an...
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20
Nov 2018The Requirement For Vulnerability
I’d often wondered why the enduring relationships I have with my fellow Royal Marines seem to have an enduring and robust foundation of Trust to them. At the risk of boring people with military virtues that can be difficult to transfer, I concluded there is a key ‘need to know...
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30
Oct 2018Paying Attention to Meaning.
‘A man’s life is not made up of the things that happened, but by his memory of them and the way in which he remembers.’ (From Where My Heart Used to Beat by Sebastian Faulks) This is important because our interpretation of memory informs our outlook and behaviours – constantly...
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19
Oct 2018Men & Emotional Needs.
Men and Emotional Needs – A Conversation that does not happen…. enough. What Are Personal Emotional Needs? Personal Needs (versus body needs such as water, food, shelter and love) are those things we must have in order to be our best. One can get through life fairly well not having...
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09
Oct 2018Resentment Is Like Drinking Poison & Hoping The Other Person Dies…
There is acknowledging the past and indulging the past. Acknowledgement looks like a space where people can speak their true feelings: “I was hurt, I don’t think you appreciate how low I felt”. “We really dropped the ball, we see how it impacted you, we are sorry”. I felt sidelined,...
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17
Sep 2018Holding to Account Sounds Awfully Hostile.
To hold to account. Dictionary definitions: ‘To require a person to explain or to accept responsibility for his or her actions; to blame or punish someone for what has occurred’. ‘To consider someone to be liable or responsible for something. In other words, they will have to answer (e.g. to a...
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17
Jul 2018Team Needs Vulnerable – Apply Within.
However much we are committed to being self reliant, self starting, resilient, self generating and personally accountable for as much of our life direction as possible, we are still intensely vulnerable creatures, wholly at the mercy of the kindness of others for our ultimate happiness and success. We all need...
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22
Jun 2018The Strongest Teams Are Packed With Humans.
A key fact about human beings: we forget important things. At the humblest level, we have a tendency to overlook and forget the fact that first and foremost, who we are is proportional to the roles we play. In order: We are human. We are someones child, a brother or...
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25
May 2018“The Truth Should Have Nothing to Fear From the Light.”
(Quote From: A Death in Belmont by Sebastian Junger) Rationally, we have nothing to fear from, and everything to hope for from the truth. Except humans aren’t that rationale. We wrestle with wanting to tell the truth and the fear of what that might create. The longer we wrestle, the...
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03
May 2018The Problem is Rarely THE Problem.
Mannnnny Moons ago my Coach advised me that: ‘The problem the client brings to the call is never the real problem”. She has proved to be endlessly right. What to do. Start from a position of enquiry and curiosity that the person has not fully dug down to the source...
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