Knee Deep In the Brown Stinky Stuff? The Paradox of Emotions.
Do you know the secret of Being a Good Coach?
The secret of being a Good Coach is…
‘Being able to Coach – when you are knee deep in your own shit’
To Coach, add boss, manager, leader, parent, mentor, confidante – in fact, any role where people look to you for wisdom and guidance.
We are not linear, we have our ups and down. No one springs out of bed every single day the best version of themselves.
Some days, because of our positions of influence (i.e. we have more people to consider than ourselves) we are obliged to ‘fake it until we make it’.
Put on that brave face, zip the whining lip, get over ourselves, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps – even though we don’t want to.
The Paradox of Emotion – Faking it living side by side with Authenticity.
This is not to advocate suppressing our feelings, and all that positive thinking bullshit e.g. ‘icing on dog poo’ mind sets.
This is about acknowledging that sometimes we don’t feel great, not denying or indulging just acknowledging. Its only once we have acknowledged this state, that we can we sincerely move on to fake it for the sake of those who depend on us.
Someways, I want to wrap my hand in as a parent, run away, escape from the last great vestige of the amateur (description courtesy of @coachbarrow).
I acknowledge that emotion, (as do some of my friends when we seek out that quiet bit of reassurance after a Gin or two!) Acknowledgement of feelings brings solace and freedom and the ability then to get on with life and all its messiness.
This is emotional intelligence personified. Knowing when to give ones self a break, step back and to heal and knowing when to give oneself a good talking too to grind out a result – despite how we feel.
You don’t have feelings. Your feelings have you – unless you choose otherwise. That’s personal power.