The Confidence Game

People and their confidence is not a fixed relationship. The significant people around you often have their confidence dwindle, sometimes to almost nothing. The ‘cost’ of that is they’ll play a smaller game and avoid being extra-ordinary.

Don’t even bother asking ask ‘Do I impact on staff confidence?” You do. Every interaction you have with people will either raise, maintain or lower their confidence. That is a hefty responsibility.

So if you are going to impact confidence you may as well boost not drain. Build them up – don’t pull them down.

Lessons from my mother in law:

Nothing Grandma Penny does with my children has any intent other than to make them feel cared for, that anything is possible and that ‘they can do it’. And when they can’t do it – she holds their disappointment with respect and curiosity about how they can make progress .

The Method:

How is she so good at building the grand-kids confidence?

1. Her attention is with them and nowhere else.
2. She converses with them as equals.
3. No one is expected to do anything they won’t enjoy.
4. Creativity is never quashed or corrected. (Purple trees and pink elephant drawings are just fine and dandy)
5. Behaviour that is desired is praised and rewarded. (We get through a lot glitter stars and sweeties)

The Point:

People who feel cared for and valued live with higher levels of confidence. Confidence makes things happen.

Making people feel confident is a high payback activity for owners and managers and is something that nurtures our own confidence and vitality in the process.