The Worst Vice is Ad-vice.
I have had some awesome advice over the years, some of it I even acted upon…
The ‘trouble’ with me is I really take advice to heart when I’m ready for it and I ask for it – versus being told what to do or lectured with “you don’t wanna do that’.
How about you?
It’s a mighty big call recognising when someone is ready for a bit of advice.
Even in my role as a ‘professional listener’ by trade I’m taking a massive punt thinking another human being is ready for my awesome advice.
That is why I always ask for permission before attempting to unstick, move along, or help evolve a fully grown adult.
If the client ( or child or friend ) says ‘go ahead tell me what you think then’ good chance they have just made themselves fairly ready and amenable to hearing me out and taking advice to heart. If you don’t have permission – yet still offer advice you might as well shout at the moon the good it will do.
Planning and preparation for the mental and emotional responses occurs in the permission giving.
Giving me unsolicited advice is talking into an unprepared mind. Advice comes across as attack / criticism. The response to attack for every human being is fight or flight.
A sub standard conversation occurs thereafter.
The worst vice is advice is a well remembered guide.
Caveat 1 – persons under 12 can be told what to do in many circumstances when their safety and well being is at risk!
Caveat 2 – Telling your boss that ‘I no longer take advice‘ is a bad career move.
Have a look at what happens this week asking for permission before offering up your advice.
Opening permission granting lines:
- Can I be direct and to the point?
- Would you be interested in my views on this one?
- Do want to know what I would do here?
- Can I tell you how I dealt with this situation in my own experience?
- I have a view on this – it might be way off beam, but would you want to hear it anyway?